At the outset, let me confess that I was personally looking forward to this session, and I must commend the organizing team of ICF Coaching Conclave 2021, India to have included a diverse set of speakers for the event. Amongst listening to the vibrant topics like coaching, strategy, Business of coaching, Team performance coaching, etc getting a chance to listen to the serene and calm voice of Sister Shivani added another dimension to this conclave.

I recollect listening to sister Shivani around 7-8 years back. The content back then did not make much sense to me because of my young age and lack of good knowledge of English. My mom specially used to enjoy her talks and I would just be a mum spectator, trying to figure out the cosmic level ‘gyaan’ she is giving.

But today I gleaned in excitement as I got an opportunity to hear Sister Shivani, her common-life tips, simplicity of the message, her powerful listening, and communication, all made a tremendous impact on me (after all, all of us mature and beginning to appreciate the ‘gyaan’ we once ignored:)

I am making this attempt to anchor some of the learnings from her phenomenal talk at ICF Coaching Conclave 2021. This reflective note is more for me than it is for anybody else.

In this session, sister Shivani shares a unique set of contrasting yet closely related experiences and insights into how coaching can extend from individual to societal development, thus enabling us to tap into our collective potential for the betterment of all humanity.

Sister Shivani is a practitioner and a teacher of Rajyoga Meditation that is at the heart of the teachings of Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual Organisation. Her popular television show – “Awakening with Brahma Kumaris” has completed over 2000 episodes, empowering individuals to overcome stress, depression, addictions, low self-esteem, and unhappy relationships. 

What transforms the individual – Words or Consciousness behind the words?

Sister Shivani firmly believes that the language of empowerment is not expressed with words. Words heard from someone do not change the destiny the next day. Destiny changes only when the words emanate from someone’s power; consciousness empowers the vibration of the person receiving, leading to a change in the consciousness which in turn brings the change in destiny. The energy that radiates to the other person changes the mindset and that person becomes an agent of change. 

Emotional empowerment is one, that is sought by the whole world today. The world has accepted various emotional stresses as natural and part of life. In addition to stress, depression, diabetes, divorce, unhealthy conditions of life are considered normal. Time has arrived to bring a change. We need to learn the language of a new way of thinking, speaking inside, to emotionally and mentally empower ourselves, be the coach for ourselves to eradicate mental health issues. In her words,

We must say; “Happiness is normal, compassion is our nature, unity is the way of being. Competition is not life. Caring, sharing, kindness, and cooperation are life. This is the need of the hour. 

I feel that this attitude has to become our vibration. Who we are is what will be radiated to people around us. The first among them are our family members. The children may be achievers, will they be happy, will they have a stress-less future? Questions sister Shivani. Therefore, we need to take charge of our minds. 

Change Lifestyle to move from Stress to Stability

Sister Shivani shared lifestyle habits to shift from stress to stability, fear to faith, competition to caring, the complaint to gratitude. 

The sleep cycle: Lack of sound sleep leads to an increase in irritability because the mind is tired. For someone who empowers another as a coach or as a friend, he/she must have high vibrational energy. The mind has to be calm, creative, and intuitive. The vibration that is radiated attracts better than the quality of one’s presentation.

Sister advices about the timings for sleep:

10:00 PM – 02:00 AM is the highest energizing time for mind and body. This duration has got the most healing power. Unfortunately, if the 4 hours are missed, the best energizing time is lost even if we sleep for 8 hours after 02:00 AM.

To have a deep sleep starting from 10:00 PM, we have to disconnect from work at 08:00 PM. Otherwise, our body may rest but the mind continues to work until relaxation. We feel we are saving time by working late at night. Factually, we are wasting time. We are not energized, we are not at peace when we wake up. People belonging to a few decades earlier slept for 5 – 6 hours and were energized within that time. The reason solely being, they slept at the right time.

The last one hour, i.e. from 09:00 PM, the mind should be taken slowly towards the alpha stage where when we lie down we must quickly go into the delta stage.

We must have a light dinner so that digestion is finished before we go to sleep. Therefore dinner at 07:00 PM is the best time. 

“Dedicate 15 minutes to yourself before going to bed. First 5 minutes for writing a diary journal; Pen down all the uncomfortable emotions of the day, apologize and forgive people. Next 10 minutes to consume positive content; fill the mind with acceptance, gratitude. These thoughts will radiate during sleep. The last thought before we sleep and the first thought after we wake up is responsible for creating magic in our destiny.” added sister Shivani.  

What’s your Emotional Diet?

This was new to me, fresh but simple. Sister advises  15 minutes of healthy, emotional diet in the morning too – engaging in a self-transformation book, video, audio, or spiritual scripts. Emotional health depends on an emotional diet which is what we watch, read and listen to; this is what we become. The amount and quality of content that we absorb decide our health. 

During the day, we need to take special care that we do not disturb our state of being.

Vibration is our priority. The ‘being’ is going to create the results. Don’t use anger as a weapon to get things done.

While conserving our emotional health, we must empower others. Priority is to get work with happiness, health, and harmony. 

The food we eat has a pivotal role in maintaining good emotional health. We must restrict our food only to plant-based food. The vibration and effect of emotions on the food we consume have an equal effect on our body, mind, and soul, which is popularly said in Hindi as “Jaisa ann waisa man”

Another important aspect of the diet is to have home-cooked food. Food from restaurants has vibrations of business in it. Food that is cooked at home has vibrations of love, affection in it. Food that is cooked in places of worship contains vibrations of blessings and remembrance of God. These have healing energy. Even the cook’s state of mind is transferred through the food we consume. Sister Shivani termed it as an Emotional Infection

I truly think that if we follow these simple affirmations, we see ourselves living a better life holistically. As sister Shivani puts it, “We become a walking, talking radiator of powerful and positive vibrations.” Our vibrations alone will transform people around us. It continues like a ripple effect. It is our moral responsibility to create a country and a world where happiness, health, harmony is normal.